Rain, rain. You bring too many memories. Like the entire month of November in the city of my heart.
Walks in the rain, in the least water-resistant shoes. Millions of excuses to stay in bed. Late night conversations inside the walls of my beautiful Villa.
The first awful pangs of a premature goodbye.
I'm not exactly sure what is going to come out of my mind this afternoon. The title makes me think that I want to end on an encouraging note.
Hold on a sec. Let me try to find one.
Better Together just came one. Oh no. I'm supposed to be rationalizing my way out of this mess. I'm supposed to think straight; to start working on my letting go.
Somehow the only thing that comes to mind is the way the sun shines in the gardens at Villa. The way banana gelato tastes for Sabbath Lunch. That delicious feeling you get when you see the Duomo as you enter the city. The illegal excitement you get when you climb over the bridge and swing your feet over the Arno. The feeling that the statue of David is staring at you looking for consolation. The butterflies you get at the thought of the statue of David staring at you. Getting to the bottom of the hill in heels, in one piece. Humming a line of Volare and having five people begin to sing simultaneously, changing the mood of the entire day. Tuesday night salottinos, Friday Night Worship, and singing afterward until your vocal chords are numb and all the praise within you has caused you to lose any hopes of sleep. Winning battles of wit because of language barriers.
I'm not sure if you're up to reading another list of all the things I miss. Mainly, I miss not having to wonder. Being right there. Knowing I would wake up to another day of laughter. Rain or Shine.
Not that I don't love it here. Don't get me wrong, UGA. You're rocking my world. Hard. I love you already.
Italian Monday Nights, International Lunches, Living in Myers and sleeping in Morris, getting lost and then found again. All of the reasons to put off homework. All of the gentlemen on campus who will hold a door open if they see you within 100 feet of the door. Reading Cookbooks for lit classes. Walking everywhere and getting a chance to think clearly for a couple of minutes. Snowmaggedons. Mafia tournaments. Myers hall again. Maybe even the hot water hunts.
You get the point.
It's just. I've got this city engraved in my heart. In my eyes. In my tastebuds and my smiles. When I close my eyes I pretend they're open, and looking out on the ponte vecchio. I make myself believe that one day I'm going to come home and find everyone I love there.
And now that I think about it, it's like that with everything. I keep hoping that every broken tie, every lost friendship, will come back. Unbreak itself. We're older, wiser, stronger...why can't we handle being genuine again? I'm back from Italy physically, and I feel like I know so much more about it because I miss it so much. Everything is clear now. No fog, no maybes. Going back in time is not what I want. I want a continuation in the present. Who we are now.
So, I only see one solution. Going back. Round two.
No more running.
See you soon.
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